10 Steps to Renewal at Any Age
Rant:
10 Steps to Renewal at any Age
Renewal, what a great word. I wonder if we stop thinking about renewal, OUR OWN, after a certain age? Do you ever think about renewal and refreshing your life?
There is so much talk about meditation as a good way to refresh. And I agree, if I could shut my swirling mind off for awhile! So, I wondered, what renews me?
Rave:
10 Steps to Renewal at any Age
Here are five of my personal favorites:
- April Fool’s Day. One of my favorite days. It’s right around the corner. Why not think of something to do that will get a giggle out of you and whomever you ‘fool.’ I get Jake every year. He hates bugs so at the right time I scream, “You have a spider crawling on you!” Then I stand back and watch him try to find the spider and get it off him! It’s a riot. Oh boy, I can’t wait! (Don’t tell him!!)
- The Gotcha’ game. Walk up to someone and say, “You have a spot on the front of your shirt.” When they look down to see where it is you take the side of your index finger and gently tap them on the underside of their nose and say, “Gotcha.” Ok, ok….I get it…But when was the last time you played that ‘Gotcha’?
- Play board games. Mexican Train is my favorite at the moment!
- Call someone who loves you. When I’m blue and need a virtual hug, I call my dear friends or family members just to say hello. I usually don’t tell them I’m blue. Just hearing their voices, their happiness because I called, grounds me and I’m all better.
- Be Creative. It can be the simplest thing. I have said before that Mom has the cutest little girl inside her.”Hi Mom,” I said when I called last week. “Whatcha doin’?” “I’m playing dress up in my closet.” Mother has always used her appearance as a form of creativity. It’s one of the fun steps she takes that renews her . In the March 2017 O (Oprah) magazine, (which you can only view on-line if you pay for it-I bought it), is an article, on page 117, called: ‘Does Your Style Match Your Soul.’ It speaks to how clothes reflect who we are.
Mom’s certainly do:
One of Mom’s steps to renewal
Attitude:
10 Steps to Renewal at any Age
Here are 5 more:
- Do something wonderful just for you. A friend said she always keeps her house and her car in great shape, now it is her turn.
- Play. Like you did when you were a kid. How about Zip lining? To watch one of my buddies run over a bridge and take a flying leap was priceless. It was priceless because she was making the funniest sounds while doing it. And right there her little girl showed up and so did everybody else’s kid!
- Watch a Parade.
Alexandria’s St. Patty’s Day Parade
Alexandria Virginia has 3 parades a year. Military Bands, clown cars, dogs dressed up, kids, kids and more kids. I laughed and giggled and waved and sang. I searched Google: ‘How to find parades in your area.’ There were 85,700,000 results!!
- Volunteer. Helping others is one of the best feelings in the world. Renewal at it’s finest.
- LOL. Laugh out loud. I mean really out loud. So loud that people will be looking at you wondering what’s so funny!
Please scroll down to Leave A Reply and share the steps you take. I know your reply will be appreciated by others. I will re-post this blog with your responses.
But before you do…you have a spot on the front of your shirt…GOTCHA’!
Originally posted 2017-03-09 21:12:08.
How to Get 27 Cards on Your 97th Birthday
Rave:
How to get 27 cards on your 97th birthday? I’d have to think long and hard to find 27 people who’d consider sending me a card. What about you? Not Mom. I know…amazing! The cards were from: people at the grocery store, the beauty shop and don’t even get me started on the deli she goes to every day! The deli cashier gave her flowers as did the waiters and the manager brought out a key lime pie with a lit candle and had the whole restaurant sing her happy birthday.
How does that happen?
Mom just needs to ‘show up’ with her smile and sparkly eyes! That may sound silly to you, but it is true. She just has to show up! As we ponder questions about our aging process how cool is to notice someone who is aging in a way that makes you say, “I want to be just like you when I grow up!” I hear that said to Mom and about Mom all the time! Just today a friend was telling me about her friend whose 96 year old Dad is struggling and how difficult it is for him and his family. Annie said to me, “All I could think about was Ronnie and how nothing is a struggle for her.”
I have previously written that Mom’s life hasn’t been the easiest. She lost both her parents by age 12, married the love of her life at 17 only to be left for another woman at 29 with 3 kids to raise and no child support. She had a second divorce but eventually married a good man who passed away after 22 years of marriage. Then in 2004 she looses her oldest daughter to cancer. “I want to be just like you when I grow up!” Really? If you had been through all that Mom has been through, would people be able to say that about you? I’m not sure they would about me!
Attitude:
How to get 27 cards on your 97th birthday? What do those people see when they look at Mom?
–Gratitude Mom often, and I mean daily, will say out loud, “Thank you for my life.”
–Curiosity Mom asks people questions about their lives and really listens to their answers.
–Play Mom puts a little heart next to her name when signing her credit card slip.
Mom with a little bling
–Creativity She has never thought of herself as being invisible because of her age. Age does not define how she dresses.
A recent conversation:
“Pamela, I’m so proud of you. Don’t ever change Honey.” I said, “Mom, I’m going to be 70 this year, I don’t think I’ll change much.” Mom says, “No Honey, I mean don’t go grey!”
Mom at her birthday party
–Positive outlook Mom said to me, “I hope you have as much fun at 97 as I’m having.”
–Laughter Out loud and often.
–Stays informed and reads “Books are my friends.”
–Mom remains active She goes out every day. “I have to see people” is one of her mantras. (She has an aide that is with her 6 days a week for 5 hours per day who will drive her, etc. )
– Challenges herself She continually challenges herself whether it is walking around her condo complex 3 times a day or walking up flights of stairs in my home when she came to visit. The first night with me she asked if she gets a sticker for making it up the stairs without stopping. The next day I bought her stickers!
What do I and other people see when they look at Mom? A woman who absolutely hasn’t bought into the stereotype of what aging is supposed to look like. Mom’s ways may not be your way but what I know with out a doubt, if you don’t buy the hype…you just don’t buy the hype. Sparkly eyes and a big smile are a great way to start! Then maybe 27 cards on your 97th birthday doesn’t sound so far fetched!! What do you think?
Originally posted 2017-02-19 22:12:05.
Age Perfect: What It Is and Isn’t!
Rant:
Age Perfect. What it is and Isn’t:
Madge Hardcastle played by Celia Imrie in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel said:
“…I don’t want to grow older. I don’t want to be the first person they let off the plane in a hostage crisis.”
Ha!
Well one thing age perfect isn’t is wishing we were younger. That seems quite obvious but is it? Often we find ourselves in situations where the notion of wishing we were younger pops up. I totally get there are things about being younger that many of us wish for and with good reason! I asked my husband what he wished aging wasn’t. Among other things, it was getting out of bed with the aches and pains! Very honestly for me, I wish that after the kids are gone and the job is over your libido came roaring back!!
The whole idea of wishing to be younger is not a comfortable one. It isn’t for me. I think to myself, “Knowing what I know now, wouldn’t it be fun to go back?” Then the reality hits, if I went back, I wouldn’t know what I know now!! DUH! It doesn’t work that way.
A baby shower was held for the owner of the gym my friend attends. The conversation was about jobs, having children and material things. My friend felt like she was back in high school being left out. It was then she had an ‘aha’ moment: jobs, having children and things are not that important to her anymore. She gravitated to a woman who was closer to her age. Consequently they had a lot in common. No more feeling left out.
Rave:
Age Perfect. What it is:
Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says:
Age Perfect
Attitude:
Age Perfect. What it is:
The following article written by Jordi Lippe-McGraw, a millennial, recognized ‘age perfect’ when she saw it! Don’t let the title fool you! It’s an empowering piece. Please read it.
https://www.oyster.com/articles/54029-4-reasons-why-young-folks-should-go-on-an-old-people-cruise/
I’m adding to Jordi’s list of reasons we are a pretty great group of “old people”…
- Acceptance of things we can not change frees us to ‘be where we are’
- We honor the value of our experiences
- Our focus on what is important changes from ‘things’ to relationships
- Gratitude increases
- We just don’t care that much what other people think of us
What does age perfect mean to you? Let me know!
Originally posted 2016-07-04 18:21:02.
5 Reasons To Believe in Love After 50!
Rant:
I am writing 5 reasons to believe in love after 50 in response to an article I read recently: http://gateway-women.com/but-what-if-i-dont-want-to-wear-purple-when-im-old/. Although Jody Day’s blog was started in 2011 to support women who are childless (not by choice), which I also relate to, this particular post talks mainly about her having to grieve once again. This time the grief is related to feeling invisible to men after 50.
I will go a step further and say that after a certain age, the whole lot of us become invisible. The awareness of that feeling can leave a person with such a sense of ‘ugh’ in the pit of their stomach. I’ve been there.
While I can relate to Jody’s sense of grief, a day came when I thought, “Hey, wait a minute, how rich and diverse and multi-layered I have become precisely due to the years I’ve been on this earth. No-one or anything can take that away from me, except me!!” Hence, a major shift occurred. It’s one of the main reasons I began this blog.
It’s noteworthy that there are people over 50 that relish their lives without a partner. I get that. There are also people who read my blog that have been married for 20, 30, even 50 years, that are probably saying, ‘What the heck are you all thinking?’ HA! Kidding…!
Rave:
5 reasons to believe in love after 50:
Me, Mom, Cindy, Beverly and one who shall remain anonymous!
ME– Once that ‘ugh’ left the pit of my tummy, my smile returned and so did my zest for living my best life. I took care of me first then everything else seemed to fall into place. Soon after joining a dating site (after 12 years of being single) I met Jake. I was 55. He was only 2 years my junior and was looking for someone he could relate to. The rest is history.
MOM–“I’m done cooking! The kitchen is closed!” That’s what my 96-year-old Mom said when at age 80 she lost her husband. She was done with marriage. She was married over 30 years the second time around. Not that her marriage was bad. It wasn’t. Three years later, while walking out of a restaurant, she stopped to say hello to friends who were dining with a friend of theirs. As she walked away from their table, Bern, the friend, got up and followed Mom out the door. They were together for over 10 years. The dynamics were different this time around. Mom called him her “SO” (significant other). Mom asked Bern what made him run after her. He said he was captivated by her smile. He lived in his home and Mom lived in hers. They were in love until he passed away. And by the way, her kitchen remained closed!!
Bern and Mom
CINDY–I put Cindy in the category of women who for many years relished being single. She has travelled and continues to travel all over the world. She is a cyclist, avid reader, takes classes at a nearby college and has friends all over the place. I know she wasn’t looking for a relationship. It found her. Bruce cycles with her and others. Over a period of time something drew them to each other and BOOM…they are having a wonderful time.
Bruce and Cindy at a Paul McCartney concert
BEVERLY–Dr. Beverly Nelson has a Ph.D in clinical psychology. She is the founder and director of www.lifepathretreats.com in San Miguel de Allende Mexico. Like Cindy, I have known Beverly for over 30 years. What a rich, textured, interesting life she leads. Another exquisite woman who relished her single life until falling in love with Michael. They were married in our home last year.
Michael and Beverly. Married in our home last year.
ONE WHO SHALL REMAIN ANONYMOUS–A friend who has never married, content with her life, her home, her community and her job found love and relationship after 50 with a man she had a crush on years ago. They are having a wonderful adventure.
Attitude:
5 (more) reasons to believe in love after 50:
- Never say never.
- It can happen to you if you want it to.
- Realize men and women have the same desire to find someone they can relate to.
- Be proud of the years of experience that make you you.
- There is nothing more attractive than a smile. Find yours first, everything else will follow.
Most of all Jody, I hope these stories help inspire you. You are an amazing writer and motivator. You also live a textured, interesting life. Grieve a little, then continue living your best life. I guarantee you the feeling of being invisible will become a thing of the past.
So, to all the Italian men you referenced in your blog…Look out!
Originally posted 2016-06-22 13:09:33.