A Message to Remind Mom of Her Strengths When She Forgets

Rave:

A Message to remind Mom of her strengths when she forgets:

As I wrote in my blog dated August 8, 2018: http://newageaging.com/aging-words-wisdom-last-woman-standing/ even though my 98-year-old Mom has a wonderful attitude on life every once in a while she’ll cry.

We were curled up on the couch one afternoon on my last visit and there she was through tearful eyes apologizing for forgetting things and needing my help.

As I held her tight, this is what I said:

No one needs to tell me how lucky I am that you are here and thriving at 98 years old.

When you say that Susan, Linda and I are your crowning achievements I think to myself, ‘Really?’  Your strength always shone, holding your head up high as a single Mom in the ’50s when being divorced was a stigma.  You received no child support from your ex (my father) and raised your three girls by selling vacuum cleaners strictly on commission at a major department store. Your daughters are/were proud of you for winning all kinds of sales awards.  The word reached the two best-known vacuum cleaner companies in the region who sent their salespeople to you for training. That, to me, is an achievement!

You have taught me a lot about love, life and overcoming adversity.

Upon you hearing my voice you tell me your heart beats a little faster.

I always respond ‘no’ when you ask me, “Hey, did I tell you today that I love you?” even though you had, just so I can hear you say it again.

No matter what, I have always felt safe, loved and taken care of and I am eternally grateful.

You have loved me unconditionally.  There is nothing you could do or no weakness you could show that would make me love you less.

I will be there for you always.  Don’t worry about a thing.

I comfort her by saying all of the above with the hope that it soothed her heart and spirit. Her smile lets me know it had.

Then I said, ‘Ya know Mom, even though I felt safe and taken care of there were times when I wasn’t very happy with you.”  “Really…when was that?” she responded with a surprised look on her face.

Here was some of the list I gave her…

• I assumed you would help me make my prom dress for my home economics project because your parents were wonderful tailors.  Come to find out you didn’t know how to sew on a button let alone run a sewing machine!
• You said the word ‘penis’ in front of my girlfriends when I was in the 7th grade and even though that was the time we were sent home with booklets describing such things, I wanted to DIE! DIE! DIE!  To this day, a friend of mine tells me I still have feelings around that one!
• You found out I cut school and when I asked you how you knew, you said you had a direct line to G-D! That made it really hard to ever do THAT again!!

 

Attitude:

A Message to remind Mom of her strengths when she forgets:

By the end of our talk, we were ‘rolling on the floor’ with laughter, as we say in our family.  Those big ol’ tears evolved into giddy tears of joy.

And then I remembered a saying on Mom’s fridge by author Vivian Greene: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”

No worries Mom, along with lots of other things, I hope I’ll never forget that I learned how to dance in the rain from you too.

We all have people in our lives that have taught us how to dance in the rain.  Have you let them know how precious they are? Because believe it or not, we all forget sometimes!

 

 

 

Originally posted 2018-08-22 12:18:22.