Aging: Words of Wisdom from the Last Woman Standing

 

Rant:

Aging: Words of wisdom from the last woman standing…

Yep, that’s my 98-year-old Mom.  As of two weeks ago, she lost her last friend.  All of her family is gone too.  Just writing the above sentences makes me want to breathe in a bag! My way of saying that my heart is beating faster and I can feel myself begin to hyperventilate.  How does she stay positive and upbeat? She wears a smile you can see a mile away.  What has she learned that has helped her navigate this not so great part of the aging process?

Rave:

Aging: Words of wisdom from the last woman standing…

I have asked Mom how she deals with loss and dramatic changes.  First of all, she says, she learned a long time ago that nothing stays the same and has embraced that idea wholeheartedly.  I can relate.  “Nothing stays the same” has become my mantra of late.  Secondly, Mom does have Linda and me, and many of you have children that you hope will take care of you until the end of your life.  According to Mom, don’t count on it.  It’s a harsh reality that some kids don’t take care of their parents or find it difficult because their lives are full.

Mom says, she “has always felt loved” and because of that, she can love, not only others but herself. Consequently, she is perfectly fine with her own company. And therein lies the key for me. I have struggled with self-love my whole life. Realizing Mom’s scenario may be mine someday, I’m inspired by her to finally let that struggle go.

Attitude:

Aging: Words of wisdom from the last woman standing…

What can we learn from this 98-year-old who has lost family, a daughter and all of her friends? Lots.

Mom’s self-love playbook:

Move on

Mom is not a saint!  She does get sad.  She does cry.  I have cried with her and I have held her while she’s cried. However, she does not dwell there.  We usually end up laughing and she moves on.

Gratitude

Every day Mom says out loud,  “Thank you for my life.”

Curiosity

She asks people questions about their lives and really listens to their answers. She stays engaged.

Take care of yourself

Mom walks every day, 3 times around her parking lot holding on to her walker, 3 times a day! It’s a mile total.

She eats 1/2 of what is on her plate.

She dresses casually but beautifully every day.

She wears a big smile.

Self-talk

“Hi, Mom”, I say when I call.   “How are you?”  “WONDERFUL” is always her first response.  My sister Linda and I call ‘wonderful’  a mantra.

Her other mantra is, “I have to see people.”  (She has an aide that is with her 6 days a week for 5 hours per day who drives her to her favorite restaurant daily for breakfast. I tell her she’s like Norm on the sitcom Cheers. “Everybody knows her name!”)

Laughs often

Mom giggles at things she says.  She said to me,  “If you’re coming to visit an old lady, she doesn’t live here anymore!” and bursts out laughing.

I hope we are surrounded by love until age 110!  May we find love from others but most importantly, may we create our own self-love playbooks and by doing so, inspire others to do the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Originally posted 2018-08-04 18:02:12.