Connection-How To Find It

Rave:

Connection-How to Find it.  I’m grateful Mom is a 96-year-old happy woman who still inspires so many. Grateful because if I read the article below, not knowing it doesn’t have to be that way, I’d be breathing in a bag right now:

http://www.nextavenue.org/boomers-less-tied-to-friends-and-family-than-others-are/

It states:

The most dramatic change in social engagement was observed in 55- to 64-year-olds. This cohort, which is nearing retirement, is not only engaging less with their communities, but they have fewer meaningful interactions with their spouses or partners and weaker ties to family and friends.

 

Mom grabs life any way she can.  Sister Linda and I live in Virginia and all of her friends and family are gone.  Connection is extremely important to her.  Whether it be eating breakfast at the same deli every morning because, “I have to see people every day” to walking around the common area at her condo to “be in touch with a little nature ” or knocking on a neighbor’s door to introduce herself.  She said hello to a family next door who had a little boy. She supported his school by buying wrapping paper and chocolate over the years. The last time I was there, that ‘little boy’ was 19 and home from his first year of college.  He saw Mom as we walked to our car, ran out of his house and gave her the biggest hug.  They talked for 15 minutes about college and his life. As I watched the two of them, I couldn’t help getting teary eyed. Mom was in heaven.  When we got in the car she said to me, “See, it doesn’t take much.”

Rant:

Connection is risky but at this point in our lives, we probably have taken a few risks along the way.  That’s why the article from http://www.nextavenue.org was jaw dropping. Really?  People disengage? YIKES!  A good friend said, “Risk taking is a conscious decision.” I agree. When we were younger, most of us thought less about the consequences associated with taking a risk. As time goes by, we tend to forget how elated and proud we were when something we jumped into worked out. It seems now we concentrate more on the “I think I’ll remain in my comfort zone because I don’t need to prove anything anymore” mode.

The questions we ask, before taking on something new or getting out of our comfort zones, change. 10 or 20 years ago we might have said, “What do I have to lose?” Now the questions become, What do I really want? What am I missing? Am I happy? If the answer, especially to the last question, is no, take a deep breath and dive right in.

 

(This portion taken from a previous blog dated March, 2014)

Connection:

Keeps you in touch with you

Keeps you interesting

Keeps you involved in life

Keeps you healthy

Keeps you engaged with others

Keeps you excited

Attitude:

How to find connection:

Volunteer. There are so many people in our age groups that are volunteering.  Even if you are an introvert, it’s a great way to connect with others of like mind.

Take a trip. Day trips, overnights, cruises, educational…So many trips out there.  I know people who have made life long friends from all over the world.

Go for a walk.  Nature is a wonderful feeling of connection.

Learn something new.  Everyone in a class is there because they want to learn something new, too.  Takes the scary out of trying it when you realize that.

Sample working with your hands. A friend of mine started knitting.  She’s in the knit shop all the time getting mistakes corrected and meeting others in her same situation.

Read.

Learn to dance.  Everyone is a novice.

Smile a lot.  People will be drawn to you.  I see it with Mom all the time.

Get a pet if you can.  Nothing like walking a dog to meet other people.

Knock on a neighbor’s door. I moved to Dallas Texas not knowing anyone.  My girlfriend, who drove to Texas with me said she was going next door to meet my neighbor so I would at least know someone.  NOOOOOOO, I said.  Believe it or not, I was quite the introvert and very shy. I practically tackled her!  Well, she did it anyway and it’s a good thing she did.  He knew everyone in the apartment complex and included me in all that was going on.  I learned right then if she had not made that move, I would have been so very lonely.  That lesson has served me well.

Join a team sport: After reading this post the day I published, a rowing buddy and my good friend Eleanor reminded me that 3 out of the 4 of us that rowed the Head of the Charles (a premier rowing regatta in Boston) had all begun rowing in our 50’s! How could I forget that!! When we started in our respective novice programs none of us knew what we were doing, but we have stuck with it. The camaraderie and team spirit we have developed between the four us as well as the rest of the team will last us a lifetime.

 

Please, please, please stay connected! What ever that looks like for you.  It will prolong your life.

Just look at Mom!

 

Originally posted 2016-06-14 20:35:38.