Age Perfect: What It Is and Isn’t!

Rant:

Age Perfect. What it is and Isn’t:

Madge Hardcastle played by Celia Imrie in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel said:

“…I don’t want to grow older. I don’t want to be the first person they let off the plane in a hostage crisis.”

Ha!

Well one thing age perfect isn’t is wishing we were younger.  That seems quite obvious but is it?  Often we find ourselves in situations where the notion of wishing we were younger pops up. I totally get there are things about being younger that many of us wish for and with good reason! I asked my husband what he wished aging wasn’t.  Among other things, it was getting out of bed with the aches and pains! Very honestly for me, I wish that after the kids are gone and the job is over your libido came roaring back!!

The whole idea of wishing to be younger is not a comfortable one.  It isn’t for me.  I think to myself, “Knowing what I know now, wouldn’t it be fun to go back?” Then the reality hits, if I went back, I wouldn’t know what I know now!!  DUH!  It doesn’t work that way.

A baby shower was held for the owner of the gym my friend attends.  The conversation was about jobs, having children and material things.  My friend felt like she was back in high school being left out.  It was then she had an ‘aha’ moment: jobs, having children and things are not that important to her anymore.  She gravitated to a woman who was closer to her age. Consequently they had a lot in common.  No more feeling left out.

Rave:

 

Age Perfect.  What it is:

Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says:

Attitude:

Age Perfect.  What it is:

The following article written by Jordi Lippe-McGraw, a millennial, recognized ‘age perfect’ when she saw it!  Don’t let the title fool you! It’s an empowering piece.  Please read it.

https://www.oyster.com/articles/54029-4-reasons-why-young-folks-should-go-on-an-old-people-cruise/

I’m adding to Jordi’s list of reasons we are a pretty great group of “old people”…

• Acceptance of things we can not change frees us to ‘be where we are’
• We honor the value of our experiences
• Our focus on what is important changes from ‘things’ to relationships
• Gratitude increases
• We just don’t care that much what other people think of us

What does age perfect mean to you?  Let me know!

 

 

 

Originally posted 2016-07-04 18:21:02.

5 Reasons To Believe in Love After 50!

Rant:

I am writing 5 reasons to believe in love after 50 in response to an article I read recently: http://gateway-women.com/but-what-if-i-dont-want-to-wear-purple-when-im-old/.  Although Jody Day’s blog was started in 2011 to support women who are childless (not by choice), which I also relate to, this particular post talks mainly about her having to grieve once again.  This time the grief is related to feeling invisible to men after 50.

I will go a step further and say that after a certain age, the whole lot of us become invisible.  The awareness of that feeling can leave a person with such a sense of ‘ugh’ in the pit of their stomach.  I’ve been there.

While I can relate to Jody’s sense of grief, a day came when I thought, “Hey, wait a minute, how rich and diverse and multi-layered I have become precisely due to the years I’ve been on this earth. No-one or anything can take that away from me, except me!!”  Hence, a major shift occurred.  It’s one of the main reasons I began this blog.

It’s noteworthy that there are people over 50 that relish their lives without a partner. I get that.  There are also people who read my blog that have been married for 20, 30, even 50 years, that are probably saying, ‘What the heck are you all thinking?’  HA!  Kidding…!

 

Rave:

5 reasons to believe in love after 50:

Me, Mom, Cindy, Beverly and one who shall remain anonymous!

ME– Once that ‘ugh’ left the pit of my tummy, my smile returned and so did my zest for living my best life. I took care of me first then everything else seemed to fall into place. Soon after joining a dating site (after 12 years of being single) I met Jake.  I was 55. He was only 2 years my junior and was looking for someone he could relate to.  The rest is history.

MOM–“I’m done cooking! The kitchen is closed!”  That’s what my 96-year-old Mom said when at age 80 she lost her husband.  She was done with marriage.  She was married over 30 years the second time around. Not that her marriage was bad.  It wasn’t.  Three years later, while walking out of a restaurant, she stopped to say hello to friends who were dining with a friend of theirs. As she walked away from their table, Bern, the friend, got up and  followed Mom out the door.  They were together for over 10 years. The dynamics were different this time around. Mom called him her “SO” (significant other). Mom asked Bern what made him run after her.  He said he was captivated by her smile.  He lived in his home and Mom lived in hers. They were in love until he passed away. And by the way, her kitchen remained closed!!

 

CINDY–I put Cindy in the category of women who for many years relished being single.  She has travelled and continues to travel all over the world.  She is a cyclist, avid reader, takes classes at a nearby college and has friends all over the place.  I know she wasn’t looking for a relationship. It found her.  Bruce cycles with her and others. Over a period of time something drew them to each other and BOOM…they are having a wonderful time.

BEVERLY–Dr. Beverly Nelson has a Ph.D in clinical psychology.  She is the founder and director of www.lifepathretreats.com in San Miguel de Allende Mexico.  Like Cindy, I have known Beverly for over 30 years. What a rich, textured, interesting life she leads.  Another exquisite woman who relished her single life until falling in love with Michael.  They were married in our home last year.

 

ONE WHO SHALL REMAIN ANONYMOUS–A friend who has never married, content with her life, her home, her community and her job found love and relationship after 50 with a man she had a crush on years ago.  They are having a wonderful adventure.

 

Attitude:

 

5 (more) reasons to believe in love after 50:

1. Never say never.  
2. It can happen to you if you want it to.
3. Realize men and women have the same desire to find someone they can relate to.
4. Be proud of the years of experience that make you you. 
5. There is nothing more attractive than a smile.  Find yours first, everything else will follow.

Most of all Jody, I hope these stories help inspire you.  You are an amazing writer and motivator.  You also live a textured, interesting life.   Grieve a little, then continue living your best life. I guarantee you the feeling of being invisible will become a thing of the past.

So, to all the Italian men you referenced in your blog…Look out!

Originally posted 2016-06-22 13:09:33.