Aging: Dignity and Grace During a Pandemic

Rave:

Aging: Dignity and Grace During a Pandemic

I remember hearing family members say it was hard to be around so and so because they complained all the time. Then someone would say, ‘They’re old. They’re entitled!’ Consequently, it left an impression on me…old people are entitled to complain.

My 100-year-old mother has never been a complainer! She could have been. Her mother was put in an institution when Mom was 12 years old and her dad died of pneumonia shortly afterward, leaving Mom to live with her sister. At age 17 she met my Dad, got married, had the three of us, and then he left. On top of that, she lost her oldest daughter to cancer. I could go on.

I asked her why she wasn’t bitter. “I have always felt loved,” she said.

February of this year was Mom’s 100th birthday. The celebration was awesome. We beat the Pandemic by a week.  Consequently, we have not seen her since. She does have an aide 6 days a week from 8 AM to 1 PM which is all she requires.  

Linda and I call her every day.

Our conversations go something like this:

“Hi, Ma!  How are you?

“Everything is wonderful,” she sings out (literally). 

“What did you do today?”

“I walked around the parking lot 3 times.  You know, my beautiful tree is coming back to life.  I bet it’s because I talk to it every day.”

“What did you have for dinner?”(Her aide makes everything before she leaves)

“I have absolutely no idea so I only ate half! It was ok.”

And it goes on…

She makes us laugh.  She tells us how much she loves us.  We giggle like three school kids. 

 

Attitude:

Aging: Dignity and Grace During a Pandemic

I’ve written down some of Mom’s best lines during this Pandemic:

-I don’t expect miracles

-I love my house

-I’m grateful and thankful

-I’ve become a sports fan. I love basketball and golf.

-I’m happy

-Don’t worry. I’m doing fine.

-Love you, love you, love you, girls!

If Mom’s attitude is based on the premise that she’s always felt loved and the above is the result of feeling that love, then as the famous line in When Harry Met Sally goes, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

We can remind ourselves that we ‘have always felt loved’ by thinking of family, friends, and even our animals whose love and affection have sustained us through the best and worst of times.

Mom has gained perspective over the years. She has known through thick and thin that her mantra has helped her make it through. Maybe it’s time we borrow her mantra and make it our own.

She would be thrilled.

Originally posted 2020-05-19 19:17:13.

Aging-3 Boomers on a Train

Rave:

Aging-3 Boomers on a Train

I flew to LA, January of 2019, to meet up with two friends I’ve known for over 40 years. We first met in Dallas Texas in 1975. You could say we grew up together. Eventually, Patty moved to California, Annie moved to Australia and I moved to Virginia.

It was time for a get together.

Patty showed us a wonderful time. A tour of LA, The Getty and other fantastic places.

We even took a train from Patty’s home in Simi Valley to Santa Barbara http://www.santabarbaraca.com for the day. A train! A whistleblowing, honest to goodness train! Very exciting. We boarded a late train back to Simi Valley. As we sat down facing each other ready to kick back, two guys maybe 18 or 19 years old, sat directly across the aisle.

What caught our attention immediately was the sound coming out of one of the boys’ phones. It was Bob Dylan! Wait. What? Bob Dylan?

After listening for awhile we had to ask:

Why Bob Dylan?

Because he is a premier poet and musician, they said.

A very impressive, thought out answer!

We watched him become famous, we responded.

As a result of that statement, the questions began to fly:

Who were the first musical groups you saw? they inquired.

Jimi Hendrix (Patty), ELO (Me), The Rolling Stones with opening act Rod Stewart, who no one knew, in his gold lame skin-tight jumpsuit. (Annie).

What other musicians, groups did you listen to?

Sting, Beatles Doobies, Chicago, Eagles, Eric Clapton, James Taylor and Carol King.

They had listened to them all.

What do the three of you do for a living?

We’re retired.

Wow retired young! (Such nice guys) What’s the secret to doing that?

Patty: I just read that to retire on your own terms at say 55, you’re going to need at least 5 million dollars.

The color faded from their faces but they seemed not to be deterred.

How do we get there?

Patty: Save and diversify your portfolio.

Annie: It’s all about the connections you make. Make good ones.

Me: Work hard, be vigilant, work at what you love. The money will come.

Have the three of you ever tried recreational drugs?

Yes. (It was the 70’s for goodness sakes)

I like marijuana. I sorta like LSD. I’ve done it a few times when I listen to music. I don’t like Cocaine the less talkative one said.

We asked if cocaine and LSD were as prevalent as they used to be given marijuana is legal in California.

Yes.

Where do you live?

When I said I lived in Virginia, one of them said he was thinking of transferring from UC Santa Barbara to a college in the east. Which colleges in DC would I recommend?

I said Georgetown and American.

Before we knew it an hour and a half had passed. It was time for us to leave.

Hey, we said, who turned you on to Bob Dylan?

My grandfather, the more talkative one responded!!

Of course it was his grandfather!!

Attitude:

Aging-3 Boomers on a Train

We were disappointed that our part of the journey had come to an end, however, when we got off the train Annie said she felt like she’d been to confession!!

That being said the ride gave the 3 of us the opportunity to ‘re-live’ some of the best times of our ‘growing up’ together. Sharing wisdom and parts of that experience with those 2 kids, who soaked up every word, made it really special.

According to Wikipedia http://www.en.m.wikipedia.org: ‘The meme ‘Ok Boomer’ gained popularity in November of 2019 used to mock attitudes attributed to the baby boomer generation.’ Every generation has a problem with the generations that came before them. And vice versa. Remember when Rock-n-Roll first came on the scene?

I’m sure Boomers did a lot of things wrong but I’m pretty sure we did a lot right.

Take that grandfather who turned his grandson on to what the three of us think is the greatest music ever written…Hey, we’re Boomers. And, that grandfather seemed to have raised a child who raised a child to appreciate, respect and value the experiences and advice of those who came before him.

Yep, to sum it up, I’d say we’re okay, Boomers!

Originally posted 2020-04-24 13:21:53.