10 Tips To Tell That You’ve Grown Up

Rant:

 

I am saying ‘grown up’ not grown old!  Big difference.  Remember when you used to fight with your siblings, or a friend, and they’d say, “Oh, why don’t you grow up?” I don’t know about you but I’d usually yell back, ” I AM GROWN UP!!!!” That’s when I was like 12!!  HA! Who knew there was a lot more to learn!  I rebelled.  I fought back.  That was being a grown up, right? I frankly did not have a clue what I was doing.  I plowed through decisions without thinking of the consequences.  And, there were a lot of consequences.  I loved to shock people, among them my twin sister.  If I could get her to yell, “PAMELA”, I knew I’d reached my goal of totally being obnoxious, and in my opinion, grown up!

Rave:

 

My last blog post, 8 Ways To Leave A Lasting Impression spoke of how older generations(grown ups) can leave a lasting impression on younger generations.  On a Friday afternoon many years ago, my algebra (UGH!) teacher, Mr. Scott,  asked me to stay after class. This hulk of a man (he was over 6 feet tall) pulled up a chair very close to my face and said, ‘So you think your antics in class are funny?  You think chewing gum, talking and being sent to the assistant principal’s office (often), is being grown up? Well, it’s not.  You have all the potential in the world and you’re throwing it away. Being an adult takes courage.  It means being responsible for your actions.  Now leave.  And, if you want to continue in my class, you’ll think long and hard about what I said before I see you again’. YIKES!  First of all, no one had ever said I had potential. Did Mr. Scott’s in-my-face confrontation send me down the more grown up path? Well, yes and no.  Did I have the courage to take a hard look at myself?  A little bit.  Did I ever act up again?  No.

I thought ‘being grown up’ meant I had to conform. I did in many ways. I didn’t like it. I shrank. I struggled to fit in…that meant trying to be accepted by the popular girls…which never happened, and of course, I took personally.

Attitude:

In the Washington Post magazine dated May 24, 2015, an essay by Jim Sollisch, a creative director at an ad agency in Cleveland, writes about an audacious decision he made in the 9th grade, and “marvels at the boldness of my decision…that wasn’t driven by principle as much as by ego and impulse, two things we learn to control as we become adults.” In  The Day I Stood Up to the Man  Sollisch says, “Humans are hard-wired to seek social approval, to join groups.  We are conformists who create norms for every organization we form, no matter how small.”  He wonders, “…what ideas I might not have censored, what risky paths I might have taken.  I’ll never know, but as I grow older, I grow younger.  I care less about what others think…I am inspired by the ghost of my former self…”

 

So, how can you tell when you’ve grown up?

 

-Are there audacious moves you have made that would make your ‘former self’ proud?

-Do you play with abandonment? Examples include: Dancing (even if you think you’re not good at it), singing (same as dancing), traveling somewhere you’ve never been, saying ‘yippee’, ‘wahoo’, ‘yaaaaaaaa’ often?

-Do you treat yourself?

-Do you know that not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay?

-Do you ask for what you want?

-Do you forgive your shortcomings? And, other people’s?

-Do you take responsibility for your actions?

-Have you stopped blaming your parents for how you were raised?

-Have you taken a risk now and then?

-Do you not conform to what society says you should, ‘be like’ ‘act like’ ‘look like’ ‘dress like’

at a certain age?

My 50th year high school reunion is coming up this August.  I would love to see Mr. Scott so I could tell him he set me on the path to being a grown-up and it only took me until I was 68 to figure out that I think I’ve arrived. “WAHOO,”  she says with reckless abandon!!

And you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Originally posted 2015-05-25 22:13:51.

8 Ways to Leave a Lasting Impression

Rant:

I have written about rebelling against the perception that when we reach a certain age, in the eyes of society, we no longer have much to contribute, see: Three Reasons to Revive Your Inner Boomer Well, the heck with society! There are ways we can circumvent that idea. We can leave a permanent mark on this world, on our children, grandchildren, friends and relations. In other words, we can leave a lasting impression.

What do I mean by leaving a lasting impression? To me it can be a shared thought, a deed, a profound experience, like the way someone shows up in a particular situation, that causes others to shift their actions, shift the way they show up, forever.

 

Rave:

We are all aware of people who made lasting impressions on us, whether famous or every day folks. I have a feeling if given the opportunity to ask who influenced them, they would have said their mom, dad, teacher, grandparents, preacher.  I started New Age Aging to share the lasting impressions my 95-year-old Mother has instilled in me and many others. See: When “Do As I Say becomes “Do As I Do”.

Producer Brian Grazer (Splash, Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind) was interviewed by contributor Scott Simon on CBS Sunday Morning, March 29th, 2015: Brian Graser’s “Curious Mind”.  Simon states, “Grazer had trouble reading as a boy, but his grandmother Sonia didn’t just see the D’s and F’s on his report card.”  “She identified my strength which was to ask questions, to dig inside of subjects, to dig inside of people.  She told me that would have a great value in my life. And it did”, Grazer says, as he chokes up.

My step-son Jesse’s grandfather Herman was a sailor, magician and kid-at-heart.  He taught Jesse how to sail, how to do magic and much more.  Judging from the tattoo that Jesse has honoring Herman, it says everything it needs to say about the influence this man had on his grandson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Impressions that change our lives can come from not so positive places, too.  When I was 5 years old my Dad’s dad was bemoaning all the regrets he had in his life.  I remember saying to myself right then, “that will never happen to me.”  It was the beginning of my rebellious nature. Thanks, grandpa!

 

Attitude:

How can you create lasting impressions in your life?

–Do what you say you are going to do. Come from a place of integrity.

–Be curious. Take risks.

–Give back to this world.  Mentor.

–Look for the strengths in people. Tell them.

–Know that words are a powerful tool.  Use them wisely.

–Honor yourself and others: old, young, gay, straight, black, white,…

–Play, play, play.  Let them see the child within you.

–And, most importantly, live your best life…with few regrets.

If we can embrace these attitudes, I’m pretty sure we will have accomplished our goal: To say to those who would make us invisible…”GOTCHA!”

 

(Leaving a lasting impression is different from your legacy. Ann Ranson at intentionswork.com encourages people to gather, celebrate and share their stories. This is an intimate and loving gift to their families.)

 

 

Originally posted 2015-05-04 09:55:04.