Aging: Dignity and Grace During a Pandemic

Rave:

Aging: Dignity and Grace During a Pandemic

I remember hearing family members say it was hard to be around so and so because they complained all the time. Then someone would say, ‘They’re old. They’re entitled!’ Consequently, it left an impression on me…old people are entitled to complain.

My 100-year-old mother has never been a complainer! She could have been. Her mother was put in an institution when Mom was 12 years old and her dad died of pneumonia shortly afterward, leaving Mom to live with her sister. At age 17 she met my Dad, got married, had the three of us, and then he left. On top of that, she lost her oldest daughter to cancer. I could go on.

I asked her why she wasn’t bitter. “I have always felt loved,” she said.

February of this year was Mom’s 100th birthday. The celebration was awesome. We beat the Pandemic by a week.  Consequently, we have not seen her since. She does have an aide 6 days a week from 8 AM to 1 PM which is all she requires.  

Linda and I call her every day.

Our conversations go something like this:

“Hi, Ma!  How are you?

“Everything is wonderful,” she sings out (literally). 

“What did you do today?”

“I walked around the parking lot 3 times.  You know, my beautiful tree is coming back to life.  I bet it’s because I talk to it every day.”

“What did you have for dinner?”(Her aide makes everything before she leaves)

“I have absolutely no idea so I only ate half! It was ok.”

And it goes on…

She makes us laugh.  She tells us how much she loves us.  We giggle like three school kids. 

 

Attitude:

Aging: Dignity and Grace During a Pandemic

I’ve written down some of Mom’s best lines during this Pandemic:

-I don’t expect miracles

-I love my house

-I’m grateful and thankful

-I’ve become a sports fan. I love basketball and golf.

-I’m happy

-Don’t worry. I’m doing fine.

-Love you, love you, love you, girls!

If Mom’s attitude is based on the premise that she’s always felt loved and the above is the result of feeling that love, then as the famous line in When Harry Met Sally goes, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

We can remind ourselves that we ‘have always felt loved’ by thinking of family, friends, and even our animals whose love and affection have sustained us through the best and worst of times.

Mom has gained perspective over the years. She has known through thick and thin that her mantra has helped her make it through. Maybe it’s time we borrow her mantra and make it our own.

She would be thrilled.

Originally posted 2020-05-19 19:17:13.