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I’ll Take Relationship Over Bottom Line Any Day

May 19, 2020   

Rant:

I’ll take relationship over bottom line any day!  I wish I could take full credit for the title.

A friend of mine, who was the VP of Human Resources for a Fortune 500 company, expressed this point after I told her the story I’m about to tell you:

Mom’s financial adviser who has handled her accounts for over 35 years called to say that his company (which I won’t name but whose initials are ML) would no longer manage accounts smaller than a certain amount.  Mother’s remaining savings are below that level. Unbeknownst to us, he had grandfathered her account 5 years ago.  But if Linda and I would contribute to Mother’s portfolio to the tune of $120,000 ML would be glad to keep us as clients.  We would have to make other arrangements with a different brokerage house if the answer was no!!!  Time limit for getting out, “Three months should be sufficient.”

The Zitron/Bailey girls hit the roof.  Unfortunately for ML, they did not know they were dealing with two people who had been in the customer service business (archaic words to be sure) for many years. If we were going down, we were going down swinging!

We first called the ML office in Alexandria to verify the ‘rule’ told to us by Mother’s adviser.  Yes, it was the rule but there was an alternative available which no one bothered to explain.

The more we thought about it the angrier we got.  The decision was made to discontinue our relationship with ML period.

More Rant:

I called the financial adviser to formally express our displeasure as to how everything went down.  His response: “This is the USA and a free enterprise system and a corporation has the right to make any rules they choose to compete.”  He’s right.  Years of relationship building meant nothing. It was all about their bottom line.

Shortly after that conversation, I received a call from his boss. “Why are you calling me?” I asked.  “The limit your financial adviser gave you as to how much money we would manage in a portfolio has doubled since his initial conversation with you.  We believe that your Mother would be better served at an institution that is closer to you.”  “Do you know where I live?” I said.   “Somewhere in Florida, I imagine.” ” I live in Virginia. My financial adviser is located in Dallas Texas. And as quickly as I can, my mother’s adviser will be located in Dallas Texas too.” I hung up on him.

Together Linda and I called ML’s customer relations line and asked to be put through to the President’s office or to his Executive Assistant.  We know from our days at AT&T and Lucent Technologies that filing a formal complaint starting at the President’s level was serious business.  “Oh yes Mrs. Zitron and Mrs. Bailey,” the customer service rep said, “we take these sort of complaints very, very seriously.  You will be contacted within 48 hours by a special representative.”  At least that felt good!

HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THEM?  NEITHER HAVE WE!!  That was 2 weeks ago.

 

Attitude:

What has happened to customer relationships and loyalty?  Are we the only generation that expects to be treated with respect and dignity?  Please say it isn’t so.

As far as Linda and I are concerned the above scenario smacked of discrimination and a slight form of elder abuse. I’m telling everyone I know about what happened, including Michelle Singletary at http://www.washingtonpost.com

After all was said and done I began to think of the ‘what ifs’.

What If…

My 97 year old Mom had no one to help her navigate this process?

Linda and I were not named on her accounts?

Mother had not named us power of attorney?

I, or Linda, did not have a relationship with another financial institution?

Fortunately my adviser is an independent financial adviser and broker.  He makes his own rules.  Of course he would take Mom’s account. He helped restore our faith that maybe the bottom line to some businesses is not as important as the relationships they build.

I am asking all of you to please ask your own WHAT IFs…and take any necessary steps that will always keep you and your family empowered over any corporation who is looking strictly at it’s bottom line.

 

Originally posted 2017-05-04 20:49:47.

Intro: The Art of Being a Baby Boomer

May 19, 2020   

Raves:

This blog is about empowering baby boomers, physically, emotionally and creatively.

Rants:

We were loud and proud in the heyday of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s  It’s time we were again. This blog is also about breaking societal stereotypes on aging by bringing awareness to the forefront on who baby boomers are and who we are not.

Attitudes:

My desire is that you will join this conversation. Along with help from you and others, including a high-heeled, gym-going, red nail polish wearing, ribbon in her hair, 93 year old woman, who happens to be my Mom, we can share tips and ideas that will propel us forward, re-shaping our own thoughts and society’s ideas about us along the way.

 

Shoes 8

 

Stay tuned.  There is lots more to come…Soon!

Originally posted 2014-01-20 00:28:50.

10 Steps to Renewal at Any Age

May 19, 2020   

Rant:

10 Steps to Renewal at any Age

Renewal, what a great word. I wonder if we stop thinking about renewal, OUR OWN, after a certain age?  Do you ever think about renewal and refreshing your life?

There is so much talk about meditation as a good way to refresh.  And I agree, if I could shut my swirling mind off for awhile! So, I wondered, what renews me?

 

Rave:

10 Steps to Renewal at any Age

Here are five of my personal favorites:

  •  April Fool’s Day.  One of my favorite days.  It’s right around the corner.  Why not think of something to do that will get a giggle out of you and whomever you ‘fool.’  I get Jake every year.  He hates bugs so at the right time I scream, “You have a spider crawling on you!” Then I stand back and watch him try to find the spider and get it off him!  It’s a riot.  Oh boy, I can’t wait! (Don’t tell him!!)
  • The Gotcha’ game.   Walk up to someone and say, “You have a spot on the front of your shirt.” When they look down to see where it is you take the side of your index finger and gently tap them on the underside of their nose and say, “Gotcha.” Ok, ok….I get it…But when was the last time you played that ‘Gotcha’?
  • Play board games.  Mexican Train is my favorite at the moment!
  • Call someone who loves you.  When I’m blue and need a virtual hug, I call my dear friends or family members just to say hello.  I usually don’t tell them I’m blue.  Just hearing their voices, their happiness because I called, grounds me and I’m all better.
  • Be Creative.  It can be the simplest thing. I have said before that Mom has the cutest little girl inside her.”Hi Mom,” I said when I called last week.  “Whatcha doin’?”  “I’m playing dress up in my closet.” Mother has always used her appearance as a form of creativity.  It’s one of the fun steps she takes that renews her . In the March 2017 O (Oprah) magazine, (which you can only view on-line if you pay for it-I bought it), is an article, on page 117, called: ‘Does Your Style Match Your Soul.’  It speaks to how clothes reflect who we are.

Mom’s certainly do:

One of Mom’s steps to renewal

Attitude:

10 Steps to Renewal at any Age

Here are 5 more:

  • Do something wonderful just for you.  A  friend said she always keeps her house and her car in great shape, now it is her turn.
  • Play.  Like you did when you were a kid.  How about Zip lining?  To watch one of my buddies run over a bridge and take a flying leap was priceless.  It was priceless because she was making the funniest sounds while doing it.  And right there her little girl showed up and so did everybody else’s kid!
  • Watch a Parade.  
    10 Paths to Renewal

    Alexandria’s St. Patty’s Day Parade

     

    Alexandria Virginia has 3 parades a year.  Military Bands, clown cars, dogs dressed up, kids, kids and more kids.  I laughed and giggled and waved and sang.  I searched Google: ‘How to find parades in your area.’  There were 85,700,000 results!!

  • Volunteer. Helping others is one of the best feelings in the world. Renewal at it’s finest.
  • LOL. Laugh out loud. I mean really out loud.  So loud that people will be looking at you wondering what’s so funny!

Please scroll down to Leave A Reply and share the steps you take. I know your reply will be appreciated by others. I will re-post this blog with your responses.

But before you do…you have a spot on the front of your shirt…GOTCHA’!

 

Originally posted 2017-03-09 21:12:08.

How to Get 27 Cards on Your 97th Birthday

May 19, 2020   

Rave:

How to get 27 cards on your 97th birthday?  I’d have to think long and hard to find 27 people who’d consider sending me a card. What about you?  Not Mom.  I know…amazing!  The cards were from: people at the grocery store, the beauty shop and don’t even get me started on the deli she goes to every day!  The deli cashier gave her flowers as did the waiters and the manager brought out a key lime pie with a lit candle and had the whole restaurant sing her happy birthday.

How does that happen?

Mom just needs to ‘show up’ with her smile and sparkly eyes!  That may sound silly to you, but it is true.  She just has to show up!  As we ponder questions about our aging process how cool is to notice someone who is aging in a way that makes you say, “I want to be just like you when I grow up!”  I hear that said to Mom and about Mom all the time! Just today a friend was telling me about her friend whose 96 year old Dad is struggling and how difficult it is for him and his family.  Annie said to me, “All I could think about was Ronnie and how nothing is a struggle for her.”

I have previously written that Mom’s life hasn’t been the easiest.  She lost both her parents by age 12, married the love of her life at 17 only to be left for another woman at 29 with 3 kids to raise and no child support.  She had a second divorce but eventually married a good man who passed away after 22 years of marriage. Then in 2004 she looses her oldest daughter to cancer. “I want to be just like you when I grow up!” Really?  If you had been through all that Mom has been through, would people be able to say that about you?  I’m not sure they would about me!

 

Attitude:

 

How to get 27 cards on your 97th birthday?   What do those people see when they look at Mom?

Gratitude  Mom often, and I mean daily, will say out loud, “Thank you for my life.”

Curiosity  Mom asks people questions about their lives and really listens to their answers.

Play  Mom puts a little heart next to her name when signing her credit card slip.

How to get 27 cards on your 97th birthday

Mom with a little bling

Creativity  She has never thought of herself as being invisible because of her age. Age does not define how she dresses.

A recent conversation:

“Pamela, I’m so proud of you.  Don’t ever change Honey.”  I said, “Mom, I’m going to be 70 this year, I don’t think I’ll change much.” Mom says, “No Honey, I mean don’t go grey!”

How to get 27 cards on your 97th birthday

Mom at her birthday party

Positive outlook  Mom said to me, “I hope you have as much fun at 97 as I’m having.”

Laughter  Out loud and often.

Stays informed and reads  “Books are my friends.”

Mom remains active  She goes out every day.  “I have to see people” is one of her mantras. (She has an aide that is with her 6 days a week for 5 hours per day who will drive her, etc. )

 Challenges herself  She continually challenges herself whether it is walking around her condo complex 3 times a day or walking up flights of stairs in my home when she came to visit.  The first night with me she asked if she gets a sticker for making it up the stairs without stopping.  The next day I bought her stickers!

What do I and other people see when they look at Mom?  A woman who absolutely hasn’t bought into the stereotype of what aging is supposed to look like.  Mom’s ways may not be your way but what I know with out a doubt, if you don’t buy the hype…you just don’t buy the hype.  Sparkly eyes and a big smile are a great way to start!  Then maybe 27 cards on your 97th birthday doesn’t sound so far fetched!!  What do you think?

 

 

Originally posted 2017-02-19 22:12:05.