Category Archives: Uncategorized
A Guide to Overcoming Obstacles
Rant:
I am still in the middle of overcoming obstacles. The bottom two floors of our house flooded April 30, 2014. We (me, my husband and our dog, Sam) have been living in our bedroom ever since. Two things I know for sure at this moment: Do not neglect your houseplants which have had their own traumatic experience and, for those of you with pets, there is no way to explain what has happened to their safe haven. Pay them lots of attention, often.
Stayed tuned. Lots more to come on the subject.
Originally posted 2014-08-07 00:28:03.
6 Reasons Taking a Risk is More Important as We Age
Rave:
My muse has taken a break from musing. Yep, she (that would be my 94 year old Mom) made a conscious decision to take a risk. She elected to have her right hip replaced in February. She had her left hip done a few years ago and came through with flying colors. Not so much, this time. According to the doctor, she is two years older and healing takes longer. “Well, at your age…” is how he began his conversation. (That phrase is the subject for a blog, another time.) The truth is she has friends who elected not to have the surgery. They were in good health but the risks, they felt, were too great. Consequently, they will be living with high-powered drugs that only mask the severe pain, for the rest of their lives. Not Mom’s idea of quality of life. So, even though it’s taking her longer to feel great, she has no regrets, which started me thinking about risk taking.
Rant:
Here I am, right this minute, taking a risk. I’ve been so focused on Mom’s recovery that the creative flow vanished. Being exhausted from it all hasn’t helped, either. My first reaction was panic. What if it never comes back? Well, like my Mom, if this isn’t perfect and it takes longer for the full force of the ‘flow’ to return, then so be it. Ready or not, I have to jump in.
A good friend said, “Risk taking is a conscious decision.” I agree. When we were younger, most of us thought less about the consequences associated with taking a risk. As time goes by, we tend to forget how elated and proud we were when something we jumped into worked out. It seems now we concentrate more on the “I think I’ll remain in my comfort zone because I don’t need to prove anything anymore” mode.
The questions we ask, before taking on something new, change. 10 or 20 years ago we might have said, “What do I have to lose?” Now the questions become, What do I really want? What am I missing? Am I happy? If the answer, especially to the last question, is no, take a deep breath and dive right in.
Taking a risk:
- Keeps you in touch with you
- Keeps you interesting
- Keeps you involved in life
- Keeps you healthy
- Keeps you engaged with others
- Keeps you excited
Attitude:
Set a goal
Take that trip
Move
Take the class
Cut your hair/change the color
Get healthier
Speak up
Go on a blind date/On-line date
Learn to dance
Engage in eye contact
Smile a lot
Laugh more
The list goes on and on.
Really, if you think about it, what do you have to lose?
Start today.
Originally posted 2014-03-31 20:56:34.
Ten Reasons Why Laughing is Good for You
Rave:
Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t stop laughing! I did fall a few weeks ago. Don’t worry, it was a ‘controlled fall’. I’m taking what I thought was a gentle yoga class from Erin, who doesn’t have the same definition of ‘gentle yoga’ as I do. “I think you guys are ready to try a headstand,” she says. “Right, like that’s going to happen,” I hear myself saying. “Just try it. Any part of it will do.” She made it look so easy that all of us attempted it. I got one leg up then Erin stood behind me, grabbed my other leg and up I went. Of course the minute she let go I fell and immediately started laughing. It was a visceral response. I felt so unencumbered. I was eager to try the headstand this week, looking forward more to the laughing then accomplishing the pose.
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw
I had forgotten the joy of playing in the front yard, doing a cartwheel, a somersault or a headstand, landing head over heels and laughing from the freedom of it all.
Rant:
I’m not proposing that you do cartwheels, headstands or somersaults; however, ‘any part of that will do.’ Just laugh! Out loud big laughs or inside giggles. It doesn’t matter. Laugh. Often.
Laughter:
- is freedom
- is living
- is contagious
- is intriguing
- is connection
- is sensual
- creates vitality
- makes you high
- breaks down barriers
- is fun
Attitude:
As Mom and I were talking over pancakes at her favorite breakfast restaurant, a man, woman and a 8 or 9-year-old boy walked past us on their way out. “Hi little boy,” Mom said as she waves at him. I realize as I re-adjust my focus, I am no longer looking at my Mom, but at an 8 or 9-year-old little girl on the playground of her elementary school, reaching out to make a new friend. The couple, the boy and I were taken back a bit. Their car was parked in front of the picture window where we were sitting. As I watch, the boy lets go of his Mom’s hand, walks up to the window and plants his face against the glass right in front of Mom. He starts making funny faces at her. He crosses his eyes, sticks his tongue out, takes two fingers and pulls the corners of his mouth down and Mom does it right back to him. Then he runs back to the car and they drive away. We laughed ’til we cried, right there, in front of the whole restaurant. I notice as I look around, people were laughing with us even though they didn’t have a clue what had happened. The laughter was contagious. It had a residual effect that lasted the entire day. Priceless.
We grew up with laughter. Mom laughs and plays a lot. That 8 year-old little girl that sat across from me at the restaurant has never left Mom. No matter what has happened in her life, and she’s been through a lot, she has never forgotten the laughter playing on her own front lawn brought her. We shouldn’t either!
Sister Linda and Mom
Originally posted 2014-02-21 16:22:17.
Aging: Words of Wisdom from the Last Woman Standing
The smile you can see a mile away
Rant:
Aging: Words of wisdom from the last woman standing…
Yep, that’s my 98-year-old Mom. As of two weeks ago, she lost her last friend. All of her family is gone too. Just writing the above sentences makes me want to breathe in a bag! My way of saying that my heart is beating faster and I can feel myself begin to hyperventilate. How does she stay positive and upbeat? She wears a smile you can see a mile away. What has she learned that has helped her navigate this not so great part of the aging process?
Rave:
Aging: Words of wisdom from the last woman standing…
I have asked Mom how she deals with loss and dramatic changes. First of all, she says, she learned a long time ago that nothing stays the same and has embraced that idea wholeheartedly. I can relate. “Nothing stays the same” has become my mantra of late. Secondly, Mom does have Linda and me, and many of you have children that you hope will take care of you until the end of your life. According to Mom, don’t count on it. It’s a harsh reality that some kids don’t take care of their parents or find it difficult because their lives are full.
Mom says, she “has always felt loved” and because of that, she can love, not only others but herself. Consequently, she is perfectly fine with her own company. And therein lies the key for me. I have struggled with self-love my whole life. Realizing Mom’s scenario may be mine someday, I’m inspired by her to finally let that struggle go.
Attitude:
Aging: Words of wisdom from the last woman standing…
What can we learn from this 98-year-old who has lost family, a daughter and all of her friends? Lots.
Mom’s self-love playbook:
Move on
Mom is not a saint! She does get sad. She does cry. I have cried with her and I have held her while she’s cried. However, she does not dwell there. We usually end up laughing and she moves on.
Gratitude
Every day Mom says out loud, “Thank you for my life.”
Curiosity
She asks people questions about their lives and really listens to their answers. She stays engaged.
Take care of yourself
Mom walks every day, 3 times around her parking lot holding on to her walker, 3 times a day! It’s a mile total.
She eats 1/2 of what is on her plate.
She dresses casually but beautifully every day.
She wears a big smile.
Self-talk
“Hi, Mom”, I say when I call. “How are you?” “WONDERFUL” is always her first response. My sister Linda and I call ‘wonderful’ a mantra.
Her other mantra is, “I have to see people.” (She has an aide that is with her 6 days a week for 5 hours per day who drives her to her favorite restaurant daily for breakfast. I tell her she’s like Norm on the sitcom Cheers. “Everybody knows her name!”)
Laughs often
Mom giggles at things she says. She said to me, “If you’re coming to visit an old lady, she doesn’t live here anymore!” and bursts out laughing.
I hope we are surrounded by love until age 110! May we find love from others but most importantly, may we create our own self-love playbooks and by doing so, inspire others to do the same.
Originally posted 2018-08-04 18:02:12.