Category Archives: Rant
Ten Reasons Why Laughing is Good for You
Rave:
Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t stop laughing! I did fall a few weeks ago. Don’t worry, it was a ‘controlled fall’. I’m taking what I thought was a gentle yoga class from Erin, who doesn’t have the same definition of ‘gentle yoga’ as I do. “I think you guys are ready to try a headstand,” she says. “Right, like that’s going to happen,” I hear myself saying. “Just try it. Any part of it will do.” She made it look so easy that all of us attempted it. I got one leg up then Erin stood behind me, grabbed my other leg and up I went. Of course the minute she let go I fell and immediately started laughing. It was a visceral response. I felt so unencumbered. I was eager to try the headstand this week, looking forward more to the laughing then accomplishing the pose.
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw
I had forgotten the joy of playing in the front yard, doing a cartwheel, a somersault or a headstand, landing head over heels and laughing from the freedom of it all.
Rant:
I’m not proposing that you do cartwheels, headstands or somersaults; however, ‘any part of that will do.’ Just laugh! Out loud big laughs or inside giggles. It doesn’t matter. Laugh. Often.
Laughter:
- is freedom
- is living
- is contagious
- is intriguing
- is connection
- is sensual
- creates vitality
- makes you high
- breaks down barriers
- is fun
Attitude:
As Mom and I were talking over pancakes at her favorite breakfast restaurant, a man, woman and a 8 or 9-year-old boy walked past us on their way out. “Hi little boy,” Mom said as she waves at him. I realize as I re-adjust my focus, I am no longer looking at my Mom, but at an 8 or 9-year-old little girl on the playground of her elementary school, reaching out to make a new friend. The couple, the boy and I were taken back a bit. Their car was parked in front of the picture window where we were sitting. As I watch, the boy lets go of his Mom’s hand, walks up to the window and plants his face against the glass right in front of Mom. He starts making funny faces at her. He crosses his eyes, sticks his tongue out, takes two fingers and pulls the corners of his mouth down and Mom does it right back to him. Then he runs back to the car and they drive away. We laughed ’til we cried, right there, in front of the whole restaurant. I notice as I look around, people were laughing with us even though they didn’t have a clue what had happened. The laughter was contagious. It had a residual effect that lasted the entire day. Priceless.
We grew up with laughter. Mom laughs and plays a lot. That 8 year-old little girl that sat across from me at the restaurant has never left Mom. No matter what has happened in her life, and she’s been through a lot, she has never forgotten the laughter playing on her own front lawn brought her. We shouldn’t either!
Sister Linda and Mom
Originally posted 2014-02-21 16:22:17.
Aging: Compassion for Ourselves and Others
Rant:
Aging: Compassion for ourselves and others…
There comes a time in all of our lives that one begins to realize sh– is going to happen! If not to you, to those you love or to your friends and those they love. When something happens, and it will, if you can’t do a thing about it, it hurts. It’s frustrating. It stinks!
So, as we age, why is it so hard sometimes to have compassion for ourselves or for others? Truth be told, we are all going through this together.
Even if you did not learn compassion in your home or from a role model but have experienced loss or illness seems like it would be easy to understand the plight of others who need understanding, empathy, and compassion just as you did. Am I wrong?
Compassion for ourselves:
Well, in the first place, maybe it’s because we have such a hard time finding compassion for ourselves. I wonder where we lost it? Or, did we ever have it? I looked up, ‘Is compassion learned’ and in fact it is. What a revelation!
As you know, I have a great Mom, but I don’t recall if she taught me self-love or compassion for myself. If she did, I’m thinking my life got in the way and I forgot. I do have a lot of compassion and empathy for others. I KNOW for sure Mom taught me that. Growing up in a house with 3 other girls (Mom included) raging hormones and one bathroom we learned understanding, boundaries and how to make-up after a knockdown drag-out! HA!! Whatever the reason, that part is easy.
It’s the compassion for me that’s harder. Going down that path feels like a guilty pleasure. How strange is that? As I get older and little things are happening to Mom and people I love, I’m beginning to realize how much I need that compassion. A loving friend turned me on to http://wildmind.org. It helps. So does exercise, meditation and the fabulous women in my life!
Compassion for others:
If you had no role model to show you what compassion looks like and you’re interested, there are plenty of places to find information. I found a compelling site: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23406/10-easy-ways-to-cultivate-compassion.html
Attitude:
Compassion for ourselves is reaching out to others and telling them what you need. It is not a weakness. It’s a strength. Being there for others, a phone call, a note, a cup of coffee, is a gift.
If you’re not interested in learning about having compassion for yourself or others, please don’t expect it in return.
It’s the mood I’m in today!!
Originally posted 2018-09-17 12:50:17.
Aging: On Being Present and Productive
Rant:
Aging: On Being Present and Productive
I was talking to a (younger) friend of mine. I was telling her what fun it was to binge-watch The Crown (https://www.netflix.com). My (younger) friend said, “Wow Pamela. That really surprises me. I have always thought of you as being such a productive person.” After digesting that statement for a few days, I discovered my definition of productive has changed over the years. Productive used to mean something closer to what my friend was talking about, a paycheck, a physical goal reached. Something concrete and instant. Not anymore. That was a revelation and I thank her for it. Maybe my (younger) friend’s definition will change as she ages, too.
Rave:
Aging: On Being Present and Productive
The last time I visited Mom she asked me to come outside because she had something to show me. Between maneuvering Mom’s 3-wheeler walker (her ‘Cadillac’ as she calls it) and taking more than a few minutes to get out the door, I couldn’t imagine what she wanted me to see. As we reached the sidewalk, Mom said, “Look up. See my beautiful tree. The branches are throwing their shadow on the building. I was so concerned it was dying, but I was wrong. It’s green again!” And with that, she became silent.
We stared at the tree for a few minutes not saying a word. Swirling in my head was TV news and all kinds of social media voices, so it took me a bit to be with her. The voices were quiet. I loved every minute of it. I was refreshed and thankful. Then it hit me, she’s always in the present moment when I’m with her. And I watch her in other situations too. I know there are times she is thinking of other things however they are never so big they interrupt a look out the window to watch the birds fly by or a walk outside to watch over her beloved tree. She’s all in! What a wonderful upside to growing older…being present!
I have recently picked up Eckart Tolle’s (http://www.eckarttolle.com) book, A New Earth…Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, for the third time. Tolle writes that one must ask themselves.” what kind of relationship you want to have with the present moment. The present moment is inseparable from life, so you are really deciding what kind of relationship you want to have with life.”
Attitude:
Aging: On Being Present and Productive
My new definition of being productive: having a friendlier relationship with life by making “the present moment into your friend,” as Tolle says.
What was productive about binge-watching The Crown:
– I was seeing and hearing the show which helped me retain the historical information. I learned a lot.
– The show enabled me to have a substantive conversation with a friend who lived in the UK for much of her life and her boyfriend who is a history buff.
– The Crown is visually stunning. I admired those who created its’ look. It was inspiring.
– I was fully and completely present.
What I learned from Mom that day:
– She reminded me through her actions alone how soothing and wonderful being present feels.
– Mother gave me a taste of a forgotten peace. She inspired me to search it out on a regular basis.
– I can remind others through my actions to grab those soothing and wonderful moments. Maybe the voices that swirl in their heads can be quieted even for a little while.
Wow, who knew what productive moments of presence you can find just by looking up!
Originally posted 2018-10-23 00:06:07.
Three Reasons to Revive Your Inner Boomer
Rave
We won’t be stereotyped: Kudos to Senior Planet: In an on-line article, dated 12/28/2013, they wrote: 12 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old(er). Number 8 is ‘Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations. Like the expectation that we’ll fade into the background as we get older.’ I would like to add the words ‘society’s expectations’ as well. Whether we marched, burned draft cards, got married, lived in communes, burned bras, or started a job, we had opinions on a variety of subjects and we did express them then and will continue to do so.
Rant
We rebel: In December 2013, I attended a panel discussion at a prestigious PR firm on the subject of marketing to baby boomers. I thought, “Great, the marketing world is finally getting it.” Hanging around the room were posters depicting gray-haired men and women dressed in subdued conservative clothing. Black, white, Asian, it didn’t matter-everything was gray! Later, there was a film presentation and with one lone exception, again all gray-hair and subdued colors. I asked the panelists, “Who created your promotional pieces for today? I’m a 66 year-old woman and not all the boomers I know look alike, nor do they all look like the people you have in your video and posters.” The response from the creative team was that they had gone to their clip art library and that’s all they had. I know beautiful women and handsome men with gray or white hair, however not all of us are gray, nor are our lives and that’s the rant. I believe these stereotypes wrongly put us in categories with very strict boundaries. Let’s not allow a ‘clip art’ world to define who we are. Boomers and boundaries? I don’t think so!
Attitudes
We are aware: Here we are finding our voice once again. The movement is quieter. We are talking among ourselves, more likely, over a glass of wine than a psychedelic drug. It’s the women leading the battle this time. I believe boomer men think the same, but seem happy to let us take the lead on this war. We still have flower power, it’s just ground up in the latest ‘anti-aging’ products the PR firms are trying to sell us.
I’m not planning on this blog being only about Boomers. I realize reaching any age milestone can be scary. What all of us can refuse to do is allow age milestones or society’s misguided beliefs make us lose our identity.
That is what I love about my 94 (on Feb.2nd) year old Mom. She has a clear definition of who she is and has never allowed other people’s beliefs or societal stereotypes limit her.
Mom two weeks ago
These are a few of the words I use to define who I am: Colorful, happy, energetic, involved, athletic, contributor, a blogger.
What are some of the words you would use to define you? Tell me.
Originally posted 2014-01-22 17:57:36.